Things That Matter

I feel very lucky to have grown up where I did - in a community designed to be inclusive for people from all walks of life (though whether that has been a success or not is open for discussion), but it wasn't until I reached college that I knew anyone who was (openly) gay. I never thought much about it when I started making new friends in college that there would be people who were gay or bi or lesbian. It didn't matter to me. What mattered was who these people were and who I was when I was around them. Working in theatre (and in my everyday life) I continued to meet more and more people who were LGBTQ. They were (and are) my friends and I never once cared about their sexuality. I was/am proud to know so many people who are different from me, and I truly believe that knowing them has made my life richer.

I was aware that my personal opinion - that who you love doesn't matter -  wasn't always one that was shared by others in the world. Realizing the extent to which some people felt about homosexuality didnt really hit me until the Fall of 2002, my college theatre department produced "The Laramie Project." The play, and subsequent movie,  centered around the death of Matthew Shepard, a young man (22) who was brutally beaten and left to die on a fence post in Laramie, WY.

The play affected me. Watching rehearsals nearly every day and seeing the final product hit me over and over again the amount of hatred that is out there in the world. My college community came closer when a few months later the Westboro Baptist Church came to visit my college. You may have heard of this group - they like to picket nearly everything with signs with anti-everything messages. We paraphrased a line ("hate is not a Laramie value") from the play and made t-shirts with the phrase "Hate is not a Hartford value" and a rainbow heart on them. Standing at the entrance to campus, I remember thinking that it was simply unfair for anyone to hate someone else simply because of who they were. To think that bullying could have ended the lives of people I cared about was just unfathomable.

That was 8 years ago, and we are no closer to ending hate in this world than we were back then.

I read an article a few days ago about a student at Rutgers, Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide following an incident where his roommate broadcast Tyler's encounters with another male student via a webcam and twitter.This story is sad on so many levels, not the least of which is the fact that this is not an isolated incident.

Every day young people from across the country are teased, tormented, tortured, ridiculed, and hurt by their friends, classmates, peers, families, and strangers simply because of who they love. 

This is appalling.

We live in a country founded on the principals of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I don't understand why anyone would prevent another human being from having the same opportunities that they have come to expect.

Something has to be done. It doesn't matter if you are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or questioning your own sexuality, NO ONE deserves to feel hurt or alone or to feel that they would be better off dead.

In the last three weeks there have been more than a half-dozen suicides by young people as a result of bullying, and those are just the kids we know about. There are no doubt countless more who have contemplated or committed suicide because of how others have made them feel.


It breaks my heart.


All we can do... all anyone can do... is reach out to others and tell them that it is ok to be whoever they want to be. To love who they want to love. There are resources available out there if you're feeling lost and/or confused. Maybe by talking about it to our friends, our children, our community will stop more lives from being lost.

On her TV show recently, Ellen DeGeneres spoke out on this very topic, and it's worth the viewing.

Crab People!

I am a Maryland girl, born and raised, and every summer there is one thing that I MUST do.... eat crabs!

It's true, it's a law somewhere.

I was never a big seafood eater when I was younger... with two exceptions: shrimp and crab - both with a GENEROUS serving of this stuff:

Mmmmm makes my mouth water thinking about it!

For those of you that have never tried it, Old Bay is the stuff that makes Maryland crabs what they are... it has a distinct taste and is far better than (in my opinion) other seafood seasoning out there. According to the website it includes spices such as celery salt,  mustard, red pepper, bay leaves, cloce, allspice, ginger, mace, cardamom, cinnamon, and most importantly, paprika.

Old Bay can be found on nearly everything around here: seafood (and crab dip), popcorn, eggs, corn, french fries, potato chips, and a few restaurants use it as either ingredients in or on the rim of a Bloody Mary.

I bring up crabs because I had the opportunity this past Sunday to get some friends together for a crab feast, and a college friend is coming in to town this weekend so I am pretty sure there is more crab eating in store for me. 

I'm fortunate that a friend of mine's husband works for a seafood restaurant in Baltimore, so we were able to get the "too small to sell" crabs easily and without much hassle for the crab feast. I invited about 20 people, and about ten of us tucked in to the crabs, going through nearly 2 bushels (that's 8-10 DOZEN crabs).

Ever had a crab?

The taste is, in a word, delicious. Crabs are meaty and sweet and delicate and when steamed with a more than generous topping of Old Bay, they are perfection.

The only trick, however, is that you have to work for your food. If this is not something you are fond of, either find someone to do it for you or move on.

It is a process to open up a crab, but as you get better and better at it, you can go through a crab in under 10 minutes. Everyone has their own technique, and I highly recommend Washingtonian's "Get Cracking" guide because it has some great pictures that will make the process easier.

from wellsphere.com (even though I can tell these definitely need more seasoning!)

Here are my top 10 crab eating tips:

1.  If you have any cuts on your hands, put a bandage on that seals all the way around. Trust me, you DO NOT want to get any old bay in to your cuts. It will burn and will impact your crab-eating time. 
2. Don't wear a white shirt. It's a bad idea and it will ruin your shirt if you get any Old Bay on it. Stick with easily washable dark colors. 
3. Be prepared to sit for a while. Have lots of water (or beer) handy to drink, and make sure you have a couple of rolls of paper towels handy (see tip #6). 
4. Eat outside. Have a trashcan with a trash bag ready or two. It will stink up your house, your car, and anywhere else the crabs hang out. 
5. Newspaper or brown craft paper. People refer to it as the "Maryland tablecloth" for a reason. It will protect (mostly) your table tops, and make clean up a snap - just roll up the paper with shells inside! 
6. Paper Towel Tip - Get crabs out of your way faster and make room for the eatin'. pre-tear several paper towels in front of you. Open the crabs on these towels, and once you've gone through one or two, fold up the crab in the towel and just toss. Bam! Instant clean. 
7. Mallets and knives - have both at the ready. Mallets are for claws, and the knives are for two reasons - to pry off the top shell, and to help with claw opening. Set your knife across your claw and whack the blade with the mallet. It will produce a cleaner, easier way to get to that sweet sweet crab meat. 
8. Take off all of your rings before you start. Old Bay really does get everywhere! I have been known to wash my hands periodically while eating crabs - otherwise it gets too messy. Avoid touching your eyes for a while after eating. The seasoning could linger and it burns....
9. Don't confuse the gills with meat! It can make you sick. Gills are gray, the meat is white. Also, some people will eat the "mustard" inside the crab. If you really want to try it, go ahead, but it's part of the crab's digestive system. 
10. Use lemon juice when washing your hands to get rid of the stink. 

So now that you have these tips and the summer is almost over, get out there and EAT SOME CRABS!!! You'll thank me later.


I will admit, however, that I haven't always been a crab lover.

Once, when I was in elementary school, we went on a family vacation to the Outer Banks, NC. We even went to the pier and caught our own crabs for dinner. My parents steamed or boiled the crabs, and when we sat down to eat them, and I opened one up... it was a female that was pregnant. I didn't eat crabs for about 3 years after that... and even to this day, I won't eat females. It's weird enough to me that they have eyes that stare in to your soul.....

My Other Secret: Boy Bands

I love listening to music and pride myself on having very eclectic tastes. Ask any of my friends - if you take me out to a sing-along piano bar (such as my favorite: Howl at the Moon), I'm almost as likely to know the lyrics to oldies as I am to classic rock, hip hop, showtunes, pop, and even a smattering of country.

But my secret musical guilty pleasure? "Boy bands."

Why you may ask?

Well, I'm not really sure, but I think that if I go back to the days when my musical tastes were just beginning to develop, it all starts to make sense.

My parents, as I grew up, listened to two types of music - "oldies" (we're talking 1950s/early 60s) and showtunes. This is what I listened to, exclusively, for the first 11 or 12 years of my life. It was what we sang along to in the car or at home. In the 5th or 6th grade, when we had a talent show and my friends sang catchy current songs, I sang a song from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

There was, however, one exception to my oldies/showtunes childhood.....

Oh Joey McIntire...

I loved New Kids on the Block. I had the big picture book of the band, a tshirt and even had the (why were these ever popular) oversized Donnie Wahlberg button. I also dreamed about Jordan knight and Joey McIntire and owned the cassette tape with the cover pictured above. I used to know all of the words to all of the songs (ok, maybe I still know most of the lyrics to "Hangin' Tough" and "(You Got It) The Right Stuff" and, my personal favorite "Popsicle").

Eventually my NKOTB obsession faded in to the background and I started to listen to more current music. It was slow goings (at least two of the songs I remember being played at my Bat Mitzvah in 1994 were Beach Boys songs). I purchased the Columbia House "buy 12 cds for a penny" deal and started picking out my own music ( Pearl Jam, En Vogue, Green Day, Boyz II Men, Mariah Carey, Ugly Kid Joe and some showtunes and oldies thrown in for good measure).

But then came the one true "Boy Band Era".

I was the late 1990s and if you were a teenage girl, chances are you loved a boy band. For most, alliances fell with either NSYNC or Backstreet Boys (BSB for short). 

From an outsider's perspective, the boy bands were all the same. Four or five young, (reasonably) good looking, (moderately) talented guys who came together (read: were brought together by that creepy guy in Florida) to bust out some tunes and some sick dance moves.

They were all relatively the same when it boiled down to it. Each guy had a role to play.

The Leader: 

 

The Young (Hot) One:

The Shy Guy

The Older Brother

The Rebel

But their songs were innocent (sounding), the boys were dreamy, and they made you want to scream.

Sure, I think deep down we all knew that they were cheesy. The carefully manicured images, the overly-produced songs, it was all part of the show, but that didn't stop us from loving them any less. I saw NSYNC in concert TWICE. Once I paid for the ticket and sat in the nose bleed seats with my friend Kristina, and the second time I was given a free floor seat by my friends Ben and Robin who had won the tickets (I even skipped out on the second half of a double I was working at a restaurant to go). They were amazing concerts, and I remembered seeing Pink (before she got really big) when she opened for NSYNC at that first concert.

My sophomore year college roommate, Jamie, also shared my love. She was a HUGE fan of O-Town and we would have moments in our dorm that we would bust out singing some of the greatest hits of all of the boy bands.

In fact, my love for boy bands spilled over in to the realm of "fake" boy bands:

• Did anyone else watch/love the MTV movie/tv show "2ge+her"? I was reminded of my love for this "group" recently by Jamie, and immediately went to YouTube to watch some of the videos. They produced such great hits as "You + Me = Us (I Know My Calculus)".
• In grad school I heard about this off-Broadway musical about a fake Christian boy band Altar Boyz. I saw it once in NYC and once on tour, and both times it was amazing.

I can't help it. I have been known to rock out to some NSYNC and BSB when they come on my ipod.

I really just love boy bands. Don't Judge.

You know you had a favorite. Leave your favorite boy band or song by a boy band in the comments!

Blogger Interview: See Claudia Date

One of the things I enjoy best about Twitter is the ability to find (and follow) people you don't know who may (or may not) have interesting things to say. This past week one of my random follows tweeted about @SeeClaudiaDate. As Emily and I have recently had an extra long post about dating, it caught my eye.

Claudia

Claudia is a soon-to-be 30 year old woman living in Ft. Lauderdale, FL who is attempting the monumental task of going on 30 dates in the month she turns 30.

I decided to go out on a limb and see if Claudia wouldn't mind being interviewed (via email) for our blog.  After checking us out, she agreed and now I'd like to present my interview.

Know any single guys in the Ft. Lauderdale/Miami area that would like to go out on a date with her? You can find her information and blog at seeclaudiadate.com!


So since this project is about going on 30 dates in the month that you turn 30, which is scarier - the dates or hitting the big 3-0?

The 30 dates are definitely scarier than turning 30, hands down. 

 

On one of your recent posts, you indicated that you had about a weeks worth of dates lined up so far. How have you found these guys?

Some of the guys have e-mailed me. I also set up an online dating profile to "cast a wider net". Actually, Match.com recently gave me a complimentary membership for 3 months, so if I do get any dates from there, I'll definitely give them credit.

 

Do you have a date on August 1st?

 

I do. The date is confirmed, but the actual activity is to be determined.

 

What happens if you meet the perfect guy early on in your quest? Would you go out with him again within the 30 days and would it count as another one of the 30 dates?

 

Ahh, I have gotten this question more than once and I have yet to really answer it. The truth is, if I do end up liking someone I go out with and the feeling is mutual, I think a 2nd or 3rd date would be totally acceptable. Never did I set myself up to say that I couldn't go out with the same person more than once. The only challenge I gave myself was to see if I could actually go on 30 dates in the month.

 

Describe what type of guy you would typically go for?

Hmm, to be honest, I've never really had a type. Looks wise, most of the guys I've gone out with have been slender to athletic. But the last guy I dated with a neuroscientist. The guy before that was a musician. Another was a teacher. I definitely want to try and keep an open mind going into these dates, since I think that's part of the social experiment.

 

Is there any type of guy you wouldn't want to go out with?

Hmm, someone asked me to go to their house for dinner. It doesn't necessarily break down into the type of guy that he is, but I wouldn't go out with anyone unless it was in a public setting. As far as characteristics go, I think a smoker is a no-go (assuming I know they smoke when they ask me out).

 

Why should someone date you? What makes you unique? What do you think you bring to the table in a relationship?

Well I think the fact that I'm doing this makes me somewhat unique and shows that I am confident and I don't take life too seriously. I actually have a plan to have someone "endorse" me as a person that's worth going out with, but I haven't followed through yet. Stay tuned.

 

Moving from New York to Florida is a big change in geography, climate, population density, how would you compare the dating "scene" in the two cities?

I guess I've learned that dating is hard no matter where you live. But as someone told me last night, you can't really compare the two cities. They are so different in and of themselves that I can't really compare the dating scene.

 

We recently had a post about bad dates - what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you on a date?

Someone else asked me this as well. I can honestly say that I've been very fortunate to date extremely great guys. Even if the date itself was a bust, there was never anything embarrassing or unfortunate that ever happened.  However, I did go on an international trip with a then boyfriend and that's when I realized I wanted to break up with him, but had to wait til we got back home.

 

What about the best?

The best thing that's ever happened to me on a date? This one particular guy, when we first started dating, every date was absolutely lovely. I never wanted it to end and we would just talk for hours. I miss that. I miss the excitement of a first kiss or looking forward to seeing them again. I think that's the best part of dating anyone. The excitement and longing.

 

What is the perfect first date outfit for you? For the guy?

 

Well, it really depends on the date. But for a girl, you can't really go wrong with a blouse, nice jeans, and heels. It kinda works for everything from dinner to bowling to a sports game. Might I be over or underdressed? Sure, but it's a safe outfit. For the guy, I guess the guy version of that. Maybe a button down, nice jeans, and sneakers? But I'm perfectly happy wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and converse.  

Vanilla Cupcake (photo from eatdesertfirst.com)

 

If you could be any flavor of cupcake, what would it be and why?

 

Ha! I love this question because anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE cupcakes. That said, my answer isn't very exciting. I just love a vanilla with vanilla frosting.

 

If "40 is the new 30", what does that mean for the old 30?

 

Hmm, I don't even know how to answer this question.

 

Are you planning any sort of celebration for your birthday other than going on 30 dates? Will you go out on a date on that day?

Remains to be seen. I know I want to celebrate my birthday but not necessarily with a date. I kinda just want to hang out with my friends that night. 

 

Will you tell your children or grandchildren about this when you get older?

Sure! I mean, it's on the internet, so why not.

 

What would you tell your 20 year old self about dating?

 

 Just to keep an open mind. But overall, I don't have any regrets about the last 10 years of dating.

 

What would you say to girls who are interested in doing something like what you're doing?

 

Take a leap of faith and do it!

Anything else people should know about you or your project?

Just that I'm doing this to see what happens. I'm not expecting to find "the one", but maybe I'll meet a few nice guys and make some friends. And the best case? I end up meeting someone that I like and likes me back and we'll go from there.

Well, that's the interview. Emily and I both wish Claudia the best of luck (we're crossing our fingers that everything works out correctly).

Again, Claudia's website is www.seeclaudiadate.com - so check it out!

Through Claudia's site, I've also learned about a guy in NYC who is doing this RIGHT NOW! Check him out at www.datingbrian.com (I'm especially charmed by his "interview sheets).

My Deep Dark Secret

I have a confession to make.

I want to be a hipster.

Yes, that's right. I want to be one of these:

N

No, I don't know where this image came from but I <3 it. 

I know I come off as a sort of nerdy/preppy girl, but I like to thing this is sort of because I wear glasses (if I were a real hipster, I would wear glasses ironically).

It started last year with a slight obsession. I wanted a "warm-weather scarf" - the breezy non, knitwear version of a winter scarf, perhaps with a funky pattern or in plaid.

I finally found the perfect one (it's blue with a blue and black plaid over it) and bought it.

Next, when I got my hair cut, I added bangs. What goes well with a fun, funky banged haircut? Headbands of course. The best would be the kind with bows or flowers or feathers on them. Got those too.

As the winter months began approaching I discovered footless tights. I said I bought them for wearing under jeans when it was cold out, but that never happened. I would, as this picture above demonstrates, wear them with my jean skirts or short dresses.

This past fall I purchased an argyle sweater vest and eyed some chunky black bangles.

I colored my hair a great shade of red.

Deep down, I am a Hipster.

Purple Footless Tights

I don't want you to get me wrong, I don't rock skinny jeans, lip rings, big wide belts or anything that could be misconstrued as being "worn ironically." I just want to be in to indie music, work my footless tights/leggings, rock a headband and scarf, and just pretend I'm cooler than you.

I mean, I don't buy in to all of the "hipster stuff" but I definitely think there's something to be said for the style choices of some hipsters.

But in the end, I too will make fun of hipsters. For some of the greatest "aren't hipsters funny" sites, you can check out:

Look at this F-ing Hipster (language)
Hipster Puppies (cute puppies! as hipsters!)
Unhappy Hipsters (life is so sad!)

Just when we thought it could only get worse...

...it got better.

Ok, so this is a nice little follow up to the last entry that Diana and I posted - the one with all the bad date stories. I know it's a little premature (and in fact, I am most likely jinxing this entire thing), but I am going to post here the details of the date I had last night. The paranoid part of me is worried that a) he'll find this blog and be weirded out (or annoyed or insulted!) that I am posting the details of amazingness or b) I'll be so excited and post this and then he'll never call me back ever again. Or even c) he'll find this blog and be so creeped out that I am as infatuated as I am that it'll creep him out and he'll never call me again. (He knows I have a blog and I mentioned the name, but what are the chances of him searching for it?)

I call this story The Tale of the 16 Hour Date. Why? Cause, well, the date lasted 16 hours. Yes. Six. Teen. Hours.

So here it is:

We met online. He popped up as a match for me one day (91% compatibility, what what?) so I emailed him. I don't normally do that or at least if I do the guy doesn't respond. We only exchanged a handful of emails before he asked to meet me in person. I immediately said yes, though I had low expectations, especially after the duds I've gone out with recently.

We'll call him A, for the sake of his reputation.

We decided to meet for drinks yesterday afternoon at Deep Ellum, a local bar that I had been to once. We agree to meet at 3, and when I arrive he is already there, with a nice table and water for me. He helps me pick out a terribly expensive (and delicious) cocktail and we decide to split some malt vinegar fries (yum) and a beet & cherve terrine (YUM). It's amazing.

We talk and talk and talk and joke and have a great time. Suddenly it's 6pm. We've been there for three hours. It just flew by.

We agree that it's time to leave (especially cause our waitress was already off shift and the bartenders were nicely refilling out water glasses) and he timidly offers to invite me over for a drink on his porch. He says that he doesn't want to seem forward, but that he doesn't really want to end the date. I don't either, so I say yes.

We settle into some chairs on his porch, with glasses of honey whiskey, something I wouldn't normally go for, but that he insisted I try. It's delicious. He puts some vocal jazz on (like Ella and Billie Holiday and Louis Armstrong) and we just talk. And talk. About everything and anything.

Now normally I am weird about time. I like to know what time it is at all times (although I don't wear a watch, strangely) but last night, I find myself not caring. When we do check the time it is somehow 8:30. We've been on this date for 5 1/2 hours, and not a second has been boring.

I'm hungry at this point, so he offers to make me something to eat, since he loves to cook (and he's good at it!). We putz around his kitchen for a while, snacking on random vegetables and trying different amazing cheeses he got the other day. We drink cava because he had a random bottle of it in the fridge, and when he said he had never drank champagne for no reason I told him that we should do it, because that's the best way.

Eventually he decides to experiment with some pasta dish - zucchini, red peppers, garlic, basil, sage, truffle oil, fennel, and tomatoes. It's incredible. And watching him prepare it is fascinating, because he really knows what he's doing.

We indulge in some port after we eat (cause why not?), and talk more. I look at the clock and am surprised to see that it's already 11:30. I still don't want to leave (and he doesn't want me to leave).

We finish our port and he looks at me and asks if I dance. Then, in the corniest fashion ever (which of course, won me over) he pulls me up from the table and we dance in the kitchen, to Ella Fitzgerald. And then, nine hours into our date (well, right before midnight), he finally kisses me.

And it's sweet. And awesome.

We don't move for a while, just kinda swaying and laughing and talking in the kitchen. It gets very late and he offers to let me sleep there and he will drive me home in the morning. It is all very innocent and perfect and gentleman like. So I sleep there and he drives me home early enough that it's like I woke up in my own room. Sixteen hours after we first met.

He is funny and sarcastic and sweet. Smart, interesting, and eclectic. We both admitted that we felt ridiculously natural and comfortable - and how strange that was since we really just met.

So, even though I am probably jinxing this, I wanted to remind us all that good dates DO happen.

And when they do, it's pretty sweet.

Bad (So Bad They're Funny) Dates

This is our first attempt at a co-authored post on our blog. For reference, anything written by Diana is in blue, and Emily has written in purple. Stories are just left in black.

Today at work I (Diana) logged on to Twitter and saw a conversation happening between Emily and a mutual friend from college. They were sharing "war stories" about some of the dates that they've been on, and I found myself laughing out loud at some of the ridiculousness of people out there in the dating game.

So Emily and I have decided to poll some of the people we know for some of their best/worst bad date stories.

All names have been changed to protect the "victims" and "perpetrators" of these dating disasters!

"Ok, so I was out on a date with this guy (maybe a second date?), and I thought it was going well. I made a joke. He looks at me completely seriously, and says 'Do you think you're funny? Because you're not...' I waited for him to laugh, like he was making a joke. He didn't laugh. He was COMPLETELY serious. I mean, what do you say to that? I said 'F--k you, I AM funny' and then after a few awkward moments, the date continued. I should have walked out! How can you be so rude?"

"I had known this guy, T, for a few years. We had an off and on again thing, nothing serious - just fun times together. We went to college in different states, and would hang out when we were both in the same town. Well, we're chatting online one night, being flirty back and forth, and out of nowhere he tells me that I'm just like candy corn: Me: What does that mean? T: Well, you know how candy corn is only around for part of the year around Halloween? Me: Yeah.... T: Well, when it's not around you have really great memories of how good it is. You almost start to crave it. Me: Ok... (at this point I think I'm flattered) T: But then when you have it, it's really good at first, and then the more you have of it, the less awesome it becomes. In fact, you have so much of it, it starts to make you sick and you don't want to have it again. Until you get some distance, and then you start to want it again? Me: ....

That was pretty much the end of that situation"

Much like dear Diana, I have been on my fair share of bad dates.(much like EVERYONE!) Hell, I once went on a bad romantic getaway (a story for another time). I've been dating since I was about 12, and I am extremely talented at dating the wrong guy. This conversation between Diana and I started when I tweeted about a recent date I had with a fella I refer to as "The Russian" (this is because he is from Russia).

The Russian was cute, and we had talked on the phone prior to the date and save hardly being able to get a word in (he was very talkative) I thought we had good potential for an excellent first date. Well, apparently we didn't. He didn't seem terribly talkative when he arrived. After we sat down, he reminded me that he was a new vegetarian and I could instantly tell that he wouldn't appreciate me eating meat. Right. There was seriously only about 4 non-meat meals on this menu. (I went with grilled cheese). He finally got talking, but the subjects were terribly serious and weighty for a first date. When I asked why he gave up meat, he launched in a diatribe about how wrong it is to kill animals. Ok, I can totally dig that. But then he started bombarding me with questions about why I are meat? Why? Because I find it delicious. Do I feel guilty about killing cows? No, that's why we raise them (sorry to any vegetarians out there). I am normally ok with defending my meat lovin' ways, but he was persistent, and tried very hard to make me hate meat. Then we started talking about religion (he's an atheist raised Jewish). Yeah, THAT was fun. Then he started a discussion about why I wasn't special. You read that right - I was not special. Me. In particular. I actually thought he was joking. He kept saying "It's not like your Einstein..." At the end of the meal he revealed that he left his credit card in his car, and though he did go get it (and I sat there thinking I was being stiffed with the bill), I new that that was a little suspicious. When we left the restaurant, he actually argued with me about how I should get home (seriously dude, I know where I live). So... needless to say, there was not a second date.

Some responses to my facebook post about looking for bad date stories:

"Jesse had been asking me out for several weeks now and finally I said yes. I got a babysitter for my daughter who was about 3 at the time. Jesse went all out for the first date. He was on my doorstep at exactly 7pm. When I opened the door he had flowers for me and a toy for my daughter. Kinda weird but was a nice thought. He brought me to the Melting Pot. After dinner we were heading back to the car. Jesse ended up puking all over the hood of the car. It was gross. He apologized and then got into the car where he puked again. I ended up getting splashed with vomit cause it bounced off the dashboard. I asked if he was ok and he said yes and he apologized again. I said it was no biggie and then told him I would prefer to take a cab home. Jesse gave me some cash for the cab ride and we parted ways."

AND

"At a friend's wedding one of her new husband's friends, Mike, wanted my number so he gave it to him. Mike called and we spoke several time. He seemed nice so I agreed to go out for drinks. Mike picked me up. After I got into the car, Mike leaned over and said 'This is the date rape car since the passenger side door handle is broken and you cant get out'. Holy crap! Who had my friend and her husband set me up with?! The date went down hill from there. Nothing happened, apparently Mike was nervous and he is known to say some stupid things but seriously! Calling you car a "date rape car" is not a good idea!"

A winning clip from another experience of mine:

First date with Chris (senior year of college): He showed up at my apartment 30 mins late. I asked if I should eat something before we go to the movie, or if we were getting dinner. He said "Oh, we'll get dinner first." So I didn't eat. When we get close to the movie theater, we're low on time, so he asks if Taco Bell is ok. I said sure, even though I was hoping for a nice meal. He said, "well it's up to you, you're the only one eating." Excuse me? I thought I didn't eat cause you wanted to. So I grab some Taco Bell (omg at least it was good) and we head to the theater. At least he paid for my movie. After the movie he comes over to my apartment, and I decided that even though the night was eh, I'd invite him up. So we were kissing on my couch when he went for more. I said "no, not tonight," and he screams "MY SISTER WAS RAPED IN HIGH SCHOOL!" Then stomps off to the bathroom. When he came out he yelled some more about knowing that no means no and then left still screaming about rape. Two months later he was my barista at Starbucks. I IMed him later about why he didn't say hi. His response "What? Emily, you were just a bar in the music of my life." Craz-Zy.
OH! Guess who had ANOTHER bad date last night? This girl!!

He picked me up from work (nice!) and we ended up going to play Candle Pin bowling, since I had never been. We played three games, and I almost won twice. While sitting there chatting afterward, his phone rang twice. He picked up both times without an "excuse me" and had full and lengthy conversations. (And when the person on the other end obviously asked what he was doing he said "Nothing, just finished bowling" - NOTHING??) I figured that would be the end of the evening, because he was all talking, but then we got in the car and just started driving. He asked what I wanted to do, and since it was almost 8 and I hadn't eaten since noon, I said food. He wasn't that hungry, so he suggested just a snack... um ok? We ended up at this random Irish pub in Brighton/Lower Allston that we drove by and he thought he would check out for his ski club meetings. We ended up there for a few hours, I had three drinks, but he never suggested food. A good hour of the time he spent talking to the owner, but when we did talk we actually had a nice time. Then he drove me home. And I never had dinner.

One last story for the books:

"I had gone out with this guy a couple of times, and he was nice enough. We got along fairly well, and always had fun when we went out. At that point I was living about 20 minutes from him (he was still in school), and one weekend night he sends me a text message that he wants to hang out with me. It's late. He'd been at a Frat party. I could put together the puzzle pieces. Well, he tells me that he's going to come over, and I say "sure" - no big deal. He texts me that he's leaving his house, and he'll be there in about 20 minutes. The time passes, and it's now been about an hour. He's not at my place, and I assume that he decided not to come, so I get ready for bed. At about 1:30 AM I get a phone call from him. He's at the police station. Turns out he was a little intoxicated when he headed over to me, headed off the road, got stuck in a ditch, and when he tried to get out a cop came by to help him. The cop smelled alcohol on his breath so gave him a breathalyzer. He was right around the limit, so they towed his car to an impound lot and took him to the police station. He was calling to ask if I could come and pick him up. I do. He's stone sober at this point, but he still asks to come over. I find out in the morning that the reason he wanted to come to my place instead of taking him home was so that I could take him back to the impound lot in the morning to pick up his car. That was pretty much the last time I saw him, as the next time I spoke to him he blamed me for making him come over."

Update: This just in from a male reader:

"I don’t tend to talk about bad dates unless someone else brings up their bad date stories, but recently that happened. My most recent bad date (and by recent I mean 6 months ago) was with a girl I thought seemed pretty cool. We had somethings in common, yada, yada and then we were chatting and she said “so when are you going to ask me out?” ... I didn’t think much of it because maybe I was taking a long time to ask her out, but I didn’t think a week was THAT long. Anyways, we went out for sushi and while we were waiting for our food and such I noticed she started picking her nose. I didn’t say anything because maybe she had an itch. But after she kept doing it and doing it I was like this is 1. disgusting 2. such a turn off! It was one pick after another pick onto the next pick! I’m like (to myself) “Is there anything else up there to pick?”. I don’t really remember if it was an actually good date because this is all that I remembered, this girl picking her nose for an hour!

My next story was years ago when I first joined JDate... I’ve learned a LOT since then. We met up at a bar in Brighton to get drinks. Had drinks, had a conversation but all I could pay attention to was her ugly mole on her face. I know you’re suppose to pay attention to the girls eyes but I couldn't. My eyes kept wondering to this mole on her face. It was horrible. Disgusting. You mean the bad word, that was it! So after having a horrible time that lasted 60 minutes, she asked the waitress for a hot coffee... who gets a coffee when you just had an alcoholic drink? So she got coffee which meant I was going to star at this awful mole for another 15 minutes!!! I was in pure hell.

Some online dating advice. Don’t go out with everyone you speak with. If you connect right away online, there is usually a chance it might be a good and/or decent first date... of course no guarantee... sorry! I don’t know what non-Jewish dating is like, but the Jewish community is actually pretty small. If you’re JDate, the chances you see JDaters around town are VERY HIGH."

Like, Ha Ha Funny?

You know what I love?

Funny people. And funny blogs. And funny people who write funny blogs.

It's true, I do enjoy the mom blogs that are less funny and more sentimental, and also the fashion blogs that require few words but a good camera. But nothing moves my morning (or hell, day) along like a good laugh.

Last night my friend Jess Mann and I were sitting in the train station bar (who knew these existed?) drinking some wine while we waited for her train and discussing what blogs we read. Surprisingly, we didn't have any overlapping blogs. Considering that we have the same sense of humor and appreciation for humorous writing, this was definitely something we needed to fix. When we made it homes to our respective residents, we exchanged emails with long lists of those bloggers we thought were worth passing on. (Editor's note: just because your blog may not be listed below, it doesn't mean you were not passed on.)

I sent her the likes of The Bloggess, Jen Lancaster, and Kelly Oxford. She sent back Barefoot Foodie, who may just be one of the funniest women I've ever read. However, what I noticed about the four of these blogs is that all four are women (surprise, surprise) but that they also have similar senses of humor and almost identical voices (esp The Bloggess and Barefoot Foodie). It explained a whole lot about why Jess and I get along.

I have spent the better part of my free time today (I take little breaks every hour to break up the monotony) catching up on Barefoot Foodie, and I am absolutely loving it.


I also enjoy statements taken out of context, like this one that I just send my co-worker Holly:

Me: are you doing better with Jose Saramago now that he died?

or this one:

BfF: the last thing I want for Christmas is a geyser shooting out of my vagina.

I don't know why, but it's the littlest things that make me the happiest.

It's a thrifter, a thrifter!

So, it's been a long while since I've actually posted here, and for that, I am sorry. I've been extremely busy with graduating, catching up on sleep, focusing on my job, and allowing myself to go home after work and just chill. It's actually been a really nice couple of weeks, but I am ready to start being a responsible blogger again.

Recently, in an attempt to curb my spending, I decided to cut down on my non-essential purchases, like clothing, dinners on the town, and other such things. However, Memorial Day weekend I went down to CT to visit my bestest friend Becky Neal, and allowed myself to splurge on some thrifting. And by splurge I mean around $60 total. Now that, my friends, is a deal.

I've been thrifting a lot recently, and the three dresses below are my current favorite purchases:

WWII Era


1980s (belt added)

New, bought as overstock (100% silk!)

I got the first two off Etsy, and the third from a local chain called Second Time Around. I have yet to decide which one I love more, although I really think that might prove impossible.

So, on Memorial Day weekend, I picked up the rest of the stuff shown . The purse (vintage Coach!) was a gift from Becky, as were the dark red wedges. I got the rest of my purchases for under $60. If I wasn't having such issues with Blogger, I would post all the pictures. All in all, it was an amazing weekend for thirfting, and I can't wait to do it again soon!