March 19, 2010

What, exactly, is "crazy?"

Before I start writing the rest of the post, I have to let you know a fact about me: I am NOT crazy.

I like to consider myself someone who thinks/writes/acts with my stream of consciousness. If something comes to my mind, I say it or write it. That leads a lot of people to find me funny (not narcissistic, just a fact) because, as they tell me I'm quite quick witted. I think I just have an overactive imagination.

Now here's the thing:

Some of the thoughts that occur in my head I have to seriously consider this question "if I say this out loud, will people actually think I'm insane?"

Whenever I'm in an elevator alone, I may do something weird like sing to myself or dance, and then I automatically think "gosh, what if someone were watching me right now... what would they think of me?"

Sometimes I'll be driving my car and think about what would happen if I suddenly turned my wheel sharply and hit another car or a tree. Some people may also think those thoughts, but that's where they stop. Me? Then I think about hitting that tree, rolling my car over, rolling in to a ditch, and breaking my leg. It's always breaking my leg for some reason.

When I was younger, I used to have this regular thought whenever I would use the restroom that a snake or other lizard type animal would come out of the toilet and bite my rear end.

Last night, in fact, I was crawling in to bed, and I thought about what would happen if I stepped on a mouse. Granted, I thought about that because we recently had a mouse sighting in my apartment.

Seriously. Who thinks about this stuff?

Oh, yeah. I guess it's me.

My boyfriend has learned to live with it and love me fact, he occasionally finds it endearing. He reminds me, however, that every once in a while I need to think about things in my head before I say them so that I don't come off as a crazy person.

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